This morning, to help me get in the right state of mind, I decided to read Psalms. Which one, I didn’t quite know. So I opened to Psalms, and let my eyes decide. They immediately focused on Psalm 25, specifically verses 4-5 (ESV):

Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.

I filled my heart with those verses along with a prayer that God would remove any anxiety or nervousness during my two appointments with publishers.

Before that, though, I read a part of a book we’re studying called “The Knowledge of the Holy” by A.W. Tozer. It’s about the nature of God, how he’s beyond our comprehension, and we shouldn’t try to capture him and put him in any box.

So as I pondered both that book and the Psalm, I asked, how can something infinite and beyond my understanding, an entity larger than the universe itself, care about my piddly concerns and challenges?

Unworthy doesn’t adequately convey who I should be to God.

Yet he nonetheless listens and at times gives me a “yes” instead a “no” for those small, almost inconsequential prayers. Because that’s who he is.

The moment I sat down at my first appointment, I felt at ease. I brought up what I had learned about their company and asked various questions about their process, what they expect of their authors, and described my book to them. Although the appointment was supposed to last only fifteen minutes, we ended up chatting for 25. They took my “one sheet” (a description of my book, the word count, genre, etc.) and the first chapter of my sci-fi with a promise they would let me know if they want to see more in about 4-6 weeks. Although there’s no guarantee (obviously), I have a good feeling about it.

That same ease followed me to my next appointment. I presented my fantasy, and about five minutes into the discussion, one of the editors said, “I hate to tell you, but we can’t publish this.” In my book’s description, I mentioned one of the main characters makes wine. Because their readership is very conservative, they don’t allow any alcohol consumption in their stories. In short, a hard “no.”

I told her I was glad I had put that line in there, so she knew immediately my book wouldn’t be a good fit. That meant none of us would be wasting our time discussing it more. I felt a little bad for her, because she kept apologizing and trying to reassure me it was nothing personal. I, in turn, reassured her I wasn’t remotely upset. And I wasn’t. I figured they were likely giving bad news to a bunch of hopeful authors, and that can be emotionally draining.

I don’t have anymore appointments tomorrow, so I can concentrate on learning more about the writing craft, and discuss writing with other writers.