The hardest lesson a writer has to learn is when to set ego aside.

Our work is precious to us. Like our children. We only want what’s best, and, like parents to their children, we sometimes prefer to ignore their imperfections and get a bit angry and offended when others point them out.

We are walking contradictions. We are simultaneously unconfident and egotistical. We despise everything we write but hate when people criticize it.

I don’t know about other editors, but that contradiction extends to when I edit other people’s stories. Who am I to judge someone else’s work? But once I start digging into it, I see all the things where the story can be improved.

Because an editor’s job is not to destroy a story, but to improve it. That includes making sure a story flows well, makes sense to the chosen readership, and follows required publication guidelines. At the same time, editors should listen to the authors when they don’t agree with certain editorial suggestions. Sometimes authors have a legitimate reason for keeping a part of a story or phrasing as is.

It’s a balance, to be sure, on both the writer and editor’s part.

So, as an editor, here’s my advice to writers: Listen to your editors (Caveat: There are bad editors out there, absolutely, but they are rare). Editors, like you, want your story to be the best it can be. It is, after all, in their best interest for your story to succeed. It’s also okay to defend your work, but do so with respect and kindness.

What you should never do is condescend to them or the publications’ readers. Because, editors have long memories, and they do talk to one another. If you are rude, arrogant, insulting, or refuse to take even the smallest piece of advice, you will soon discover no other editor will go near your work.