For this Lenten season I wrote eight devotions for my church. In one I wrote about how sometimes God asks me if I love him. In my most honest and quiet moments, I have to admit I don’t love him as much as I know I should (I’ve added said devotion below).

Now God is asking me, “Am I enough?”

Again, if I am to be honest, I have to answer no on that, too. If he was enough, I wouldn’t stress or worry over anything, let alone the things I can’t control.

I long for him to be enough, but I also have to do my part—and that’s to trust him and seek him out when I’m feeling overwhelmed. He has never, and never will, let me down. Even if (when) I suffer difficult times, he’s always there to give me the strength and wisdom to make it through. As long as I trust him and know that he is indeed… not just enough. More than enough.

Not Without Help

I like to say I depend on God, and it is true. Sometimes. More often than not, though, I like to go my own way and don’t invite God to join me. He comes along anyway, a few steps behind, watching, waiting. Perhaps even shaking his head at my incessant idiocy of trying to do things my way and failing.

One problem of doing things on my own is I start to feel alone, abandoned even. Worse, I begin to lose my sense of right and wrong. I make excuses for my actions—my sins. I sometimes even consider them not sins at all.

When that happens, I no longer sense God’s presence. His voice becomes weaker, but when I do stop and strain my spiritual ears, I hear him ask, “Do you love me?”

John 14:15-16 (ESV) says, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father and he will give you another Helper to be with you forever.” There’s that word again. The big “if”. The qualifier to all of God’s promises.

Do I love God? Tough question, because I want to say “yes” without hesitation or equivocation. Yet I have to admit it’s not always true. Pride in myself interferes.

I should therefore not be surprised when the Helper Jesus promised goes silent.

We must always keep in mind that while Jesus is always ready to forgive us and intercede on our behalf, and the Helper always ready to give us the strength and wisdom we need to face whatever comes our way, we must do our part. We must love him above all else, and keep his commandments as an expression of that love. What a tiny sacrifice compared to what Jesus did for us.