A few nights ago my husband went to a club meeting, and our son spent the night at a friend’s house. Normally I enjoy the alone time to read, write, or watch a show only I like (in this case “Andromeda” with Kevin Sorbo).
I did a bit of all three, but I also felt rather lonely. Weird for me, but what caused that loneliness made me sad, too.
Our son is ten years old. Although he still likes to snuggle with me, and asks me to stay in his bedroom long after saying our prayers, my brain knows those days are numbered.
I think my heart realized it that night. Tom didn’t want to snuggle, or to spend time chatting after prayers. Instead he prefered to spend time with a friend. I got a glimpse of him spreading his wings, and I’m not ready for him to leave the nest — however slowly.
So says my heart.
My brain, on the other hand, is pleased.
Part of our job as parents is to not only protect our children, but to teach them how to be God-fearing, confident, smart (both book and life), ambitious, compassionate, generous, and shrewd so they can protect themselves and their own family when the time comes. In short, better, more successful versions of ourselves. They must be able to do it all without us, because we won’t be around to help them someday.
I like the fact that my son can be without us for a night. I hope he continues to exercise and strengthen those wings, so that he can soar higher and farther than I ever dreamed. Hopefully my husband and I continue to teach him well, so we won’t worry as much knowing he can take care of himself when we’re not around (this might happen largely in spite of us than because of us, though).
As long as he comes home to see us once in a while.
Even as my heart cries that my little boy is no more.
“Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” ~ Elizabeth Stone