Ten years ago I started a membership at website dedicated to writing where I could post my writings to share for review and to read other people’s works.
It took nearly six months to post anything, afraid that I would be kicked off the site for writing unprecedented drivel. Not long after I created a blog. I didn’t expect any readers, and that was okay. Sometimes writing without an audience allows a person to write more freely, to express thoughts and opinions without worrying about what people will think about it.
It’s like singing in the shower; it doesn’t matter if I can sing well or not. I can sing my heart out for the pure love of it, not to impress or seek validation.
Since so many have been reading my posts on Facebook and this blog, I discovered I’m not singing alone in the shower anymore. People can see and hear how off-key and out of sync I am. I find myself whispering the music and the words instead, afraid that if I sing loud enough, everyone will run away screaming, blood pouring out of their ears.
The joy of singing in the shower is gone.
Therefore, as far as my blog goes, it’s time to go back to the beginning; to once again write for a non-existent — or at least very small — audience so I can be all of me without fear or worry that I might scare people away for being out-of-key-and-out-of-sync-me.
That’s not to say I’m cutting everyone out. I know some of you still want to read what I write, and if you are one of those, let me know. I will happily send you a link and email you updates when I add a new entry. PM on Facebook or email (andra @ almarquardt.com) your email your address so you don’t have to post it for all to see.
One caveat. You can read all my entries, but won’t be able to leave comments unless you’re also a member. It won’t cost anything to sign up, however, because the site does offer free memberships along with paid ones.
I’m sure I will add more entries here and on Facebook eventually. I just need time to build up my courage once again to sing in the shower as loud as I want regardless of how many people can hear.
I keep thinking I’ll really start using that site again and get away from the other, but I love the easy and unlimited image use and the way I can just skim and pick up bits of everyone’s posts so easily. Easy isn’t always best, though, obviously. And I feel the same, I think, which is why I’ve let both my official and my writing blog go for the most part. I have to think of “my name” when I post anything. I’ve been doing more journaling on paper lately. Too much social stuff can just be too much.
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Agreed. Even the last few days staying away helped.
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