When my son doesn’t want to go to school or church, he’ll at first try to run away or cling to something. Then he’ll argue or cry. In the end when he realizes he won’t get his way, he’ll capitulate with his eyes big and teary, head hanging low and lower lip glued to his chest.

What I know and Tom doesn’t realize until later is that he ends up having a great time. One time I dropped him off at Sunday school, and I had to make the Sunday School teacher hold on to him so I could leave. When I came to pick him up about an hour later, I had to almost drag him away.

Much like my son, I, too, have a difficult time going where God wants me to; at least not without a fight, and teary-eyed moping at the end. Intellectually I know he knows best, and not once has he ever been wrong. Still I fight and argue. I wonder sometimes if he shakes his head and wonders why he even bothers.

This morning I read how another author is being published by Marcher Lord Press, and it finally hit me. My novel won’t be one of them. It’s taken too long to hear back. In the last week, I’ve received emails in some of my writing newsletters about how to write the perfect query. I even have an opportunity to get a free* professional critique from Writer’s Digest.

That was my second hint (or at least it finally got through my stubborn skull), that I have to seek out other avenues for publication. I’ve read through the latest “The Christian Writers Market Guide,” and found nearly a dozen prospective agents. I’m also reading “How to Write Attention-Grabbing Query Letters” by John Wood.

Now comes the hard part: Convincing myself I can write a good query letter. If I don’t, then I self-sabotage. By thinking I can’t write a good query letter, then I certainly won’t. I have to believe I can. John Wood’s book is very informative, and I’m learning a lot. Once the query is as good as I can get it (as picky as I am, that will take six months), I will send it off to Writers Digest for review. After that, it’s tweaking for each agent and sending it off with a fervent prayer.

I have to remember it’s all in God’s hands. If my novel is meant to be in print, he will lead me in the right direction. I just have to be willing to follow instead of being forced to. Ha! That’ll be the day.

*Free only in the sense I had to upgrade my current Writers Market subscription for $20 to get it along with a few other perks.