When I started writing my first book, I couldn’t wait for it to be published. I wanted to see my name in print right now! That was ten years ago. Sure my name has seen print with three short stories, as many articles and a self-published novella, but my novel is still in limbo. I’m not concerned about it. In these last ten years, God has taught me patience.
But it is patience I’ve finally gained, or is it complacency? A bit of both?
I haven’t written much of anything since my last entry in March. Four months! Hard to believe. Where did the time go? Admittedly I wasted a lot of it catching up on favorite tv shows and movies (Netflix and Hulu can be quite addicting).
Over the last few weeks, my fingers have been itching to write. But write what? Sure I submitted two articles to AUGIWorld, but each one took less than four hours to write.
Two of my books need serious edits, and I’m about a fifth the way through the first. Not something to brag about, because I’ve been working on that since January. I’d also like to rewrite “Traitors,” or at least the first three chapters. I went through the comments for the Genesis Contest last year, and realized the first part needed work.
My first draft started with an assassin right before she entered the house to kill her victim. I had since changed it beginning with the assassination itself while in the mind of the victim.
Based on the comments, I decided the story would be better the way I had it originally. Funny, that. My instincts were right to begin with. It’s a good thing I keep all my major drafts, both on computer and hard copy.
I also need to come out of the shadows a bit. I’ve been in hiding, mostly because I’ve let my faith stagnate some. Okay, a lot. I haven’t gone to church since January, and I’ve barely picked up my Bible since then. My only communion with God in any capacity is when I say bedtime prayers with my son.
A few weeks ago, I received a phone call from Ashford Radio. They wanted to do a half-hour radio interview of me. I was ambivalent at first, but finally agreed. Partly it was due to cost. They wanted $2000. Not happening. After saying no about three times, they took away features such as a plaque and travel vouchers, and lowered the price to $500.
I figured if I want to come out of my shell,and start promoting myself more, a half-hour interview live-streamed on the Internet would be the boost I need. Even if I do have to pay for it.
They called me this afternoon for a pre-interview, and one of the questions they asked was, “Who was your biggest influence on your life?”
On the tip of my tongue was, “Jesus,” but I instead said, “Mostly my parents.”
That’s when I realized just how far I let my relationship with Jesus falter. Didn’t he say, “those who acknowledge me to others, I will acknowledge in heaven, and those who deny me, I will deny in heaven?” (Paraphrased because I’m too lazy to get off my bum and look it up). If I were to split hairs, I could say I didn’t deny him outright, but I sure didn’t acknowledge him either.
Luckily I have another opportunity during the actual interview to say what I wanted — and needed — to say. Hopefully I won’t chicken out then.
I also focused more on my actual job as a land surveyor and less on my writing during the pre-interview. Mostly because writing has taken a back seat to other priorities. But, we’ll see what happens during the actual interview. I may just have to sit down with God for an hour or two beforehand and discuss with him what I should say. He’s never let me down, even when I’ve let him down so many times. God’s kinda great that way.